Keeping the Faith

So as we know this year for the Chinese new year calendar is the year of the rooster. Yeah me!๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰ I was born in the year of the rooster so I kind of feel like this is my moment to shine this is my moment to spread the knowledge that has been tucked away for so long but every now and then I just lose the faith I personally lose faith in myself and my ability to to succeed. If I’m being honest. So the other night we as a family are hanging out in the living room doing our norm and we go into talking about which year we were born in the Chinese new year calendar so we come to the conclusion that my son is the year of the dog makes sense he’s very loyal my second daughter is the year of the ox she is very stubborn LOL! and my third daughter is the year of the Dragon she is very fiery. My partner is the year of the monkey he can sometimes be mischievous and of course I’m the year of the rooster which it clearly states… ‘Passive when it comes to projects.’ My  partner looks at me and says agree!!!.  I would also agree with that statement. As a Mom, I make excuses for myself. Deep down there’s moments when I think I am a mom of three children and they are my first priority so I always believe that before I can settle I need them to be settled. So I do everything in my power to try and make sure that they are settled and in the end of course they’re not always settled because their kids… the only time the are settled are when they’re sleeping. so I always say to myself it’s OK I’m just gonna push it to the side, or that can wait they are more important. Truthfully  I’m still learning how to come out of my comfort zone to…. find a way to channel this energy internally and bring it forth externally. I have come so far but it took a lot of work a lot of literally self analyzing in those not so happy moments right before my full moon cycle I would analyze every piece of my consciousness. I would meditate religiously and just watch the lights go by in my head. I would feel energy that made me feel so warm and connected inside. 

If I am passive when it comes to projects it is because I never want to limit myself in one particular area of life and I don’t think you should. With every book that I read and with everything that I’ve heard, they say the universe is limitless. So why should I limit myself to one genre why should I put myself in one box . Why should you place yourself in one box. I’m not One box and neither are any of you. We all come from different backgrounds. It’s just that society has placed all of these boxes out there and says pick one says pick one and I say I want all of them why not?… where is the rulebook that says you must choose a box and be in that box for the rest of your life. That is crazy! I’ve been a stay at home mom for the last 10 years. the entire time, internally doing self realization but society says that in order for you to live in this world you need to have the resources and the finances to make that happen and to be happy and to achieve what society says is the norm. A house, two cars and a white white Pickett  fence…. 

I am a part time card reader and a spiritual healer and so the other day I obviously Pulled cards for myself for guidance and it says to write. it’s actually said that a couple times before. Writing helps to express those thought that are tucked away in the closet. And if you don’t resolve it, it will come back out to let you know it’s still there and thinking about you. So then I start to write again and then I stop. the punctuation, the grammar….I can’t lie, it’s  not really my thing but being able to listen and to give advice in a consciously loving way has always been my strong suit and so in the end I just want to help people discover themselves the way that I have but in their own unique way. 

The only thing that I have stayed consistent with is me even though I fall off and feel down about myself or I come to this crazy epiphany as to the next direction. even  though it might sound crazy I always come back to me I always come back on track. And we all do that… we all fall off and go a different direction. I think that’s important because it lets you know what direction feels good. I can’t just always be One Direction… (side note) I still love that band and you see…even they chose to go separate ways at the end of it all . They chose a direction that felt good with at the time. but then it wasn’t fun anymore….and now look!..I love Zayn!๐Ÿ˜œ

I can’t lie it does feel good to get everything off of my chest. when I write I completely forget what I had already written… I leave it in the past but I want to make sure that it’s written down somewhere so that somebody else who feels unworthy, somebody else who feels sad that day will hopefully come across my writings and it in someway impacts them in a way that makes them love them self a little more so I have to keep writing. I think I save this in almost every one of my blogs that I just have to stick with it and write I guess that means that I have to just stick with ME and have the faith in myself that I will help others achieve self love

I don’t want to use excuses anymore to cover up my fear of failure or my fear of what people might Think or say but in the end who really cares. all that matters is YOU!! and what you think of yourself. That is the most important. I know there are people out there that might feel like the direction you might be going might not be best suited for you but if it feels right inside and if it makes your heart feel good then please listen to it and please keep the faith that the Universe is guiding you in the right direction even if it might sound crazy even even if it might seem slow just be patient and keep the faith. The Universe would never guide you in the wrong direction it’s just that we’re not listening.  when we take the time to listen and and we ask…. ‘ please guide me to the next step’ Universe will answer. I’ve tried it it works!!!….we will always have our moments we will always have people telling us what we should do with our lives which can makes us question ourselves a little bit… but remember The Universe  has our back and all the Universe is asking from us is to keep the faith!! so that is what I will do! ๐ŸŽคCause you gotta have faith!๐ŸŽค๐ŸŽค

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